19th January, 2013

I'm very sad again. This time without a reason. I don't know why but I feel happy sometimes and very sad after that. My mood swings up and down and I cried several times on bus this month.

I really don't know what is happening.....

Sigh...please....someone.....help me! I really want to be away from my home for few days.

January 15th, 2013

I attended the night classes today and just came back home. It was awesome and much better than the full time classes because those suckers weren't there. The classes were very quiet and peaceful. Those part time students are maturer and they only started to joke after the class and NOT  during the class. 

My friends and I have decided to attend part time classes instead of full time. Although I feel very tired but I'm satisfied. I'll attend part time classes again tomorrow and hope there will be something good waiting for us. :)

January 14th, 2013

Why do people always have to say something to hurt me? Since when I was being disrespectful? I've been quiet listening to all the lessons and I've never once interrupted the class while it was going on. How am I being disrespectful? Compared with others who like to talk while the class is on, charging the phone, bickering with each others and etc.....

Since when I always absent? If not because there wasn't any lesson being taught in the class but something else that wasn't related to the studies at all. 

I've told you that I'm not interested from the day one. It was you who kept insisted on that I should join. Do I have to remind you what you have said? 'You don't want to join? Then what do you want to do sitting there? Staring at our faces? I don't care. You'have to participate!"

I don't know what to say. I've been good in the classes for the whole time yet, I'm labelled as bad influence. Hello!!! I just don't want to participate in that event!!!! Is that a sin? Come on, 99% of the attendees were Indians and what do you expect from me? Even people do stare at me every time I go to college like I'm a rare species. Just put yourself in my shoes, what would you feel if people around you speak in Chinese and they don't care your existence? When the attention is given, it's like 'Who is this black sheep?' Do you like it? Just like your people see me as an alien. 

Is it too much for me wanting to pass the examination peacefully? Why can't I do my business quietly and peacefully? I just want to pass and graduate and have a stable job. Why do people have to demotivate me when every time I'm motivated? I'm tired. I'm really tired. 

Robin, Luffy, Zoro, Nami, Usopp, Sanji, Chopper, Franky and Brooke......please.....help me......

October 23, 2012

I had quiz for the Business class today. I'm so happy that I could answer so many questions and gained many points for my team. My teammates were very happy and this was the first time that I could get so much attention from the whole class since I've graduated from the high school.

That feeling....that feeling of being looked up to is really happy. I really hope one day I can achieve my dream so I can be proud of myself. It has been very long since I was so satisfied with myself and today is the day where I'm satisfied with myself again. I'm gonna work harder to achieve my dream.

Gambatteh ~~~

October 19, 2012

First of all, I would like to apologize to those who care and love me. I'm really sorry that I've let you down. Yes, this time I've passed my business but I failed law. Thanks to the Teacher Lee for your help and I really appreciate it. I really feel embarrassed that you had to call me to ask about my result. It's not that I didn't want to call you but I don't know what to say. Sorry, I've let you down. The next person that I would like to say sorry is to my mom. You have given me a lot of support and everything and yet, I've failed you. Sorry, mom. I'm really sorry. Please forgive me for my incompetence. Anyway, life goes on. I feel really down recently but I'll try to overcome everything. Reeve, 你长大了！ 加由好吗？ 不要放弃, 我知到你可以的！！！

29th February 2012

With a blink of eyes, it's already March. I feel like it just turned 2012 yesterday.



I've just finished watching this drama. It's very nice. I like Linda Chung here although she is quite annoying at certain time. It's a waste that she doesn't end up with Ron Ng and living alone in Australia.

Actually, the storyline of this drama is quite similar to my family problem. Hahaha...

4th February 2012

I just came back from my aunt's reunion dinner at her house. Many of my cousins were there and I enjoyed that moment!

2nd February 2012

My brother just told me that my father was complaining about me not giving him money although I got my salary already.

I'm really speechless, haha. Why didn't he tell the world that I've treated him a dinner? Why didn't he tell the world that I bought him a watch? (although in fact, it was bought my mother and she just told him that it was bought my me.)

Seriously, I'm really speechless. I just got RM800 for my salary and not RM8000. I already treated him a meal that's like RM50++. My salary left RM750 and I still need to repair my com. My DVD room has spoiled, so do my speakers and I just replaced my broken mouse. Not to mention, I bought myself a pair of glasses and also some winter clothes to get ready for going to China. RM750 isn't that much because a pair of glasses costed me RM100 and each winter clothes are about RM100.

I treated you a meal, you didn't say that. I 'bought' you a watch, you didn't say that. What I got in return is complain, complain and complain? You complaint about the watch is cheap watch and actually it's not. It's RM200 watch and my mom just bought it while it was offer...and even it's a cheap watch, can you show some appreciation? I don't own a bank. I don't photocopy money!!!!

西遊記

This drama is still awesome like always although this is my second time watching this drama :)

28 December 2011 - Cloudy Day

Somehow I feel like my future is very uncertain. Somehow I feel like I'm useless and this world is very cruel. Somehow I feel like I'm alone and nobody willing to be my companion.

2011 is going to end and looking back it's an awful year. I wanted to learn Japanese but I didn't take any actions. I wanted to get my driving license but I've no money. Yes, I've worked for two months but I need to keep it to pay for my examination fee in May. I don't know why I'm taking these papers when I don't even have confidence in myself.

There are too many worries. My height. My family problem. My studies. Financial problem and a lot more is troubling me. Out of these problems, you may think my height is just a peanut matter but well, for you maybe, yes. To me it's very important. I feel very sad whenever I go out and people around me are taller than me. I just want to reach 170cm. Is it very over? Yes, Yes, Yes. I know there are many people are shorter than me. I know that and I kept telling myself that but what can I do if I still feel sad about it?

Very soon, I'll be 20 and I'm good at nothing. I really don't want to be a failure and live as a 'main character' but I feel like I'm destined to be a supporting character or worse, just an extra. Gosh, I just hope 2012 will be better and I need to gain my confidence. But...what should I do?